things I cannot do
The Superficial:
Distinguish between Maria Bello and Mary McCormack.
Distinguish between Chloë Sevigny and Zooey Deschanel.
Distinguish between Maggie and Jake Gyllenhaal.
Readily distinguish between Howard Hughes and Hugh Hefner.
Use an eyelash curler without snipping the skin around my eyes, damage it does not need.
Things I Haven't Tested in Some Years:
Jump rope when I'm the one spinning the rope.
Skin the cat (spinning around a jungle gym bar on one leg).
Spin a hoola hoop around my middle.
Characteristically lisa:
Say "wapiti" only once. Wapiti wapiti! I can type it only once, at least.
More Important than That:
Coordinate a meal. I can make a dish. I can bake cookies if I pay attention. But timing several dishes to be ready at once? Not so much.
Speak any non-English language with other than a French accent.
Speak French without an American accent.
Stop ripping my cuticles.
Insert my own car into my own garage (I probably could if I could practice the slope, 90-degree angle, and narrow entrance with an identical car not my own and a structure less likely to collapse at the slightest tap.
Parallel park in a space less than 1.5x the length of my car.
Do a simple flip turn when swimming laps.
Take my own pulse.
