Movie Ratings
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Lisa's latest brilliant idea: finally, a practical movie rating
I suggest we introduce a movie rating of C.M.: unlike NC-17 and all those
which judge people on no better criterion than their age, this is actually
an indication of a movie's content. Of course, not all the content, or I
hope not all the content, but clearly the most important element in a film:
whether the dog dies.
Also, songs.
The Cowboy Junkies, "Lay It Down," Lay It Down:
"He shot his dog out in an open field; the rest, he let them
steal."
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Rated CM (Canine Mortality):
- Alien 3 (so PLT says)
- Apocalypse Now
- Badlands
- Buffalo 66
- The Cook, the Thief, His Wife, and Her Lover
- Dragonseed (and much worse)
- A Fish Called Wanda (Triple CM)
- Insomnia (the Scandinavian version. I wonder if the U.S. remake keeps
that element.)
- Jaws
- Jurassic Park II: Lost World
- My Life as a Dog
- National Lampoon's Vacation
- Of Mice and Men
- Old Yeller
- Richard III (presumably)
- Shao-Lin Temple
- Sounder
- Titanic (do you think even the first-class dogs survived?)
- To Kill a Mockingbird
- The Unbearable Lightness of Being
- The War of the Roses
- Wonder Boys
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Rated TBA (Teddy Bear Abuse):
- A.I. (Artificial Intelligence)
- Amélie
- Desk Set
- Love Actually
- Mystery Train
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Rated PM (almost as bad as CM):
- Five Corners (luckily, this came to me second hand, so I didn't have to
see the pet penguins die.
Rated AM:
- The Yearling
- Fatal Attraction
Rated EM:
(List too long.) If equine mortality bothers you, don't watch war movies
or westerns.
Any suggestions?
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Last modified 4 September 2004
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