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 DEDBG
is writing a thesis about a subject she has recently claimed no longer
to give a bat's left snot about. Today she asked this:
How's your novel coming? You are writing these days, aren't you?
The novel?
You mean the one about [thesis subject]?
Whoops! You mean my novel. That was supposed to sound like the
gatekeeper in "Princess
Bride" who won't let them into the castle:
Gatekeeper: But I don't have the gatekey.
Inigo: Fezzik, rip his arms off.
Fezzik looms.
Gatekeeper: Oh you mean this gatekey.
Alternately that was supposed to sound like "Casablanca"
when the Germans tell the Vichy policeman to close Rick's place:
Vichy: But I have no reason to close it!
Nazi: Find one!
Vichy, to Rick: I am shocked, SHOCKED to learn there is gambling in this
establishment.
Waiter, to Vichy: Your winnings, sir.
Vichy, turning away: Oh, thank you.
Or it was supposed to sound like a bit from Prince
Caspian:
Peter turned and there stood the eldest of the Bulgy Bears.
"If you please, your Majesty," it said, "I'm a bear, I am."
"To be sure, so you are, and a good bear too, I don't doubt."
"Yes," said the Bear. "But it was always a right of the bears to supply
one marshal of the lists."
"Don't let him," whispered Trumpkin to Peter. "He's a good creature,
but he'll shame us all. He'll go to sleep and he will suck his
paws. In front of the enemy too."
"I can't help that," said Peter. "Because he's quite right. The Bears
had that privilege. I can't imagine how it has been remembered all these
years, when so many other things have been forgotten."
"Please, your Majesty," said the Bear.
"It is your right," said Peter. "And you shall be one of the marshalls.
But you must remember not to suck your paws."
"Of course not," said the Bear in a very shocked voice.
"Why, you're doing it this minute!" bellowed Trumpkin. The Bear whipped
its paw out of its mouth and pretended it hadn't heard.
Have you noticed I haven't answered your question?
As
always, no links to the newly wrongly renumbered Chronicles
of Narnia.
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