Last week I fell hard on the steps and got myself a viciously dark and complicated bruise the size of two fists on my left buttock. Besides palpating it (and admiring that, well, my butt is firm in at least that one coagulated spot), I have nothing fun to do with the bruise. (I am such a grown-up now: I recently also didn't pop a blister on my instep.) I've even run out of people to show it to.
Plus the endpaper in one of RDC's ski magazines is a photograph of a skier whose one entire buttock is deeply bruised. The magazine, despite being geared toward adults, blurs out the man's cleavage, and at least I was not that prudish when I dropped trou and demanded Scarf's admiration. But my hematoma is both smaller and less severe than that skier's, and RDC turned that page the same day as my fall (bad socks), so it makes me feel all inadequate.
Plus today I "ran" for the first time in 10 days and the bruise and I did not enjoy the butt-bouncing. Resolved: eliminate the butt bouncing.