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I forgot to mention this incident from a couple of weeks ago: After my swim, I was showering in the locker room when a woman came in with a little boy, maybe four. I made no more effort to cover myself than ever as I got dressed, and I could barely restrain myself when the boy exclaimed loudly to his mother, "Mommy, that lady doesn't have a penis!" I had no idea I was so deformed. I looked down and around as if I'd maybe just dropped it on the floor, but I think I amused only myself thereby. The woman probably thought I was insane.
We gave up on that fantasy. At home I use the Mac almost exclusively, or have this summer. In winter, as my slothfulness burgeons, I am sure I will cuddle on the couch with a laptop again. Meanwhile RDC did use his laptop at my desk, which he was taking over with various papers and this and that. So now I have the big monitor on my desk plus the other bits. I have less physical but more mental space, surrounded as I am with all my talismans. My collages and my Pooh pencil box in my peripheral vision instead of behind me. I like it.
RDC wanted input on his pillow choice, which I refused to give. I like a big firm pillow and he wants some kind of dual arrangement that he can read on (overstuffed) and pummel under his head (squishily flat). He did find one to keep, and after one night realized that he needs to keep both available. So we need another pillowcase, which is easy.
The first bookcase to the left is the larch one RDC slapped together to fit a specific spot in the old apartment, and on top of it is the 1'x2' bookcase I picked up at a tag sale for two bits. Next to the little bookcase is my asparagus pencil box (a gift from a weird Phoebe patron), which I only keep because Madeline is a pole-sitter and this is a convenient height for her, a pink ceramic elephant DEW made, a Thai charm SEM gave me, a Tropicana Orange radio DEW got in the mail, positioned so that Opus on his slinky can drink from its straw, and rocks and shells from assorted beaches. On top of the little bookcase is my Lego castle. To the left of the larch case is the cherry laminate we bought from Hold Everything with a wedding gift certificate, and on top of it is my paper model of Caernarvon Castle. That bookcase shares a corner with the huge oak laminate thing we found at Home Despot for about as much money, and much less griping, than we were going to build one for. On top of that is the 3D puzzle of Camelot. All my castles are in a row. Swing to the right again, over my desk: the seventh Unicorn Tapestry, the famous one, "Unicorn in Captivity." A wax plaque of St. Mark the Lion (a gift from RJH). ZBD in her birth announcement. A sheet of paper with all my talisman sayings on it, decorated with a self-portrait I photocopied out of a letter to DEDB, a magazine photo of Mr. Moose and Bunny Rabbit, and a bookmark commemorating the new Denver library with this Borges quote: "I had always imagined paradise as a kind of library." My card collage. A feathered mask from a Colorado-NARAL auction benefit. A photograph of my babysitting victims, all grown up. Then three photograph collages, from 1990, 1993, and 1996, which should mean it's time for a fourth. With the monitor and the scanner, I don't have room on my desk for much else (and oh! how tiny the scanners in Office Depot are! With perimeters not much bigger than their 8.5x11" platens, and less than an inch tall!)--the drawers, a glass of water, the keyboard, trackball, and my journal. Hmm. Maybe I should have put the scanner to the left, so I could write on the right side. But its cable isn't long enough, so I should learn to write left-handed or better yet, to compose on a keyboard. It is a lot less classy a desktop than Sara's. That setting complements her, though, elegant and very Park Avenue. I belong here, under the protective gazes of my iconic beloveds. I am content.
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Last modified 27 August 1999
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